Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
