You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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