So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
