I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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