Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
