He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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