He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
