Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
