even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
