he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I got inside last night via doggy door
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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