Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
