Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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