I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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