I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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