I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
