there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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