Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize