Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
