I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
