So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize
