Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
