CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No subtext here. People are naked.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
