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I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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