okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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