Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
