first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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