i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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