as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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