i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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