Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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