It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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