she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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