these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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