I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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