I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You brought string cheese to the strip club
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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