How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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