you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I think I just sharted jello shots
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
