Just cropdusted the office
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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