You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
