He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
