Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
