The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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