I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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