bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize