Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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