I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
