he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
