Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
