We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
