CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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