he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She announced her abortion via fbk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
