the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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