Are we in a gay sports bar?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
