oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
should my penis look like a turkey
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
