dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
