Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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