Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
