did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
