I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
