My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
