everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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