I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
