His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
